Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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