Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
