Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
