It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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