Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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