Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
