its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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