everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You don't make any sense
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