we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
