Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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