Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize