So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
