I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just saw a hot homeless man
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
