hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
