did you get engaged???
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
