I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
