i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
