no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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