you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
