The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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