I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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