Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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