I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
