Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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