I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
