the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
