gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Your cock deserves a montage
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize