How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
