Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
