How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
