So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
