Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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