Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i think my cat just said my name.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
