She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
