The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize