so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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