hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
