Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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