Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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