My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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