White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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