And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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