Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
