i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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