Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
