just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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