The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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