the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
