considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I believe in your delicious
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
