dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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