is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
