i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize