After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize