I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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