we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just pee around me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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