He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
